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One Girl’s
I grew up in a Christian home. I because I so desperately wanted to of people so willing to be my friend in
knew most of the stories in the feel loved. Unfortunately that need spite of how I looked to them. I
Bible, church was a weekly event, didn’t stop with him. I talked loudly never saw people so enraptured by
and my parents raised me to and swore to get a reaction from the Word of God. I never saw people
know Jesus Christ. I do remember anyone. I dressed provocatively so with such close relationships with
the day that I became a Christian. I people would look at me. I was God. I didn’t know how much I
was about 7 years old and I was miserable, depressed, exhausted, wanted that until I saw it in other
crying when Mom asked me what angry, selfish, and lonely. I excused people. I know now that God used
was wrong. I asked her if Satan was my sin because as long as it felt good, them to get through to me. He
stronger than God because I felt like I it didn’t matter. I lived selfishly showed me glimpses of what my life
just couldn’t be good. She sat by me because my only desire was to please could be like if I lived for Him.
and told me the Gospel message: I myself. Suddenly, all the pointless things I
was a sinner, we all are, which is why searched for in the world seemed less
we do bad things that hurt others, I came to college and faced the appealing. My outward appearance
but we don’t have to live that way. same challenges for two more years. was not so important. It didn’t
Jesus paid for our sin and took it I was reluctant for others to get matter how much people liked me.
away when He sacrificed Himself on involved with my life. Out of Boyfriends, clothes, money, and
the cross. He died instead of me so obligation, I started going to church labels meant nothing to me anymore.
that I would be blameless before a at Jesus Fellowship of Believers in I stopped excusing my sin and
perfect God and could one day be Menomonie and slowly things began acknowledged how it not only hurt
with Him in Heaven. I understood it to change. I had never met a group God, but it also hurt me and those I
as much as a child could and prayed loved. God was offering me
to accept Jesus’ gift of salvation. something much better.
I do believe that I was saved that It hasn’t been easy. Rebuilding a
day, but my life was not perfect. broken relationship with someone
Growing up, I experienced a lot of takes time and patience. I have to
rejection, failure, and loneliness. I ask God for discipline and desire for
only felt affirmed when I was the Him every day. God has called me to
center of attention. It became easier Himself, not because I’m a good
to seek after the affections of others person, but because He loves me and
rather than rely on God. In high wants me to be with Him. I have
school, “Christian” was just a way for done nothing to earn God’s love and
me to label my holier-than-thou salvation, but I have accepted it
attitude. I did not read the Bible and
I did not follow Jesus. I had wholeheartedly. The Bible says
essentially abandoned my that He is going to do great
relationship with God because it things with me and sthat
seemed too tedious and too He has an amazing,
boring, and traded it for the perfect plan for my life. I
people around me. I had a have a purpose. I’m not
boyfriend who was alone anymore. I have
particularly horrible, but found great love.
I allowed myself to be - Natalie
taken advantage of
